Today, I light a single candle.
Not to celebrate a myth of harmony that never truly existed,
but to honor a truth that has been waiting to be seen.
Here in Hampton, Connecticut, I live on land once tended and loved by the Nipmuc people —
whose homeland, Nippenet — the freshwater-pond place — stretched across what is now central Massachusetts, northern Rhode Island, and northeastern Connecticut.
Their presence didn’t vanish when the maps changed.
Their lineage didn’t dissolve when their land was taken.
Their belonging is not something the colonial story had the right to erase.
So today, I light this candle for them.
I light it for the elders, the children, the ancestors,
for the cultures and languages that survived in whispers when it was dangerous to speak aloud,
for the grief that was never acknowledged,
and for the resilience that continues anyway.
This flame does not pretend the dark is light.
It simply shines on what is true.
And perhaps that is where repair begins —
in the willingness to see clearly.
Gratitude — big enough to hold the whole story
As we move through a month marked by family, food, and tradition,
gratitude can become performative, another script we are expected to recite.
But there is another way.
We can practice gratitude that doesn’t require forgetting.
Gratitude that honors land, ancestors, nourishment, and truth — all at once.
Before you sit at a table this season, or wrap your hands around a warm drink,
I invite you to take one breath to feel the ground beneath your feet.
Let your gratitude rise from reality, not denial:
I am grateful for the land that feeds me, and I do not forget its story.
I am grateful for the water I drink, and for the peoples who honored it long before I was born.
I am grateful for food grown from soil, sunlight, and human hands.
I am grateful for resilience — mine, yours, and the resilience of those who endured far more than they should have.
I am grateful for connection that nourishes instead of drains.
I am grateful for tenderness that doesn’t require permission.
This is not gratitude instead of truth —
This is gratitude big enough to hold truth.
A personal remembering
My relationship to ritual, land, and ancestry on Thanksgiving changed years ago inside a sweat lodge.
It felt like a rebirth — a return to the ancient pulse of the earth,
to the primal memories in the bones,
to the soul-wisdom that has guided humans since time before language.
Soon after, I came to understand how that moment connected to my own birth story,
to the burning times and the silencing of women’s knowing,
and to the deep memory of my own far-back ancestors —
the Indigenous Europeans of the Neolithic era whose lives were woven with earth, cycles, and spirit,
whose presence I discovered through the writings of archaeologist Marija Gimbutas.
That experience did not make me Indigenous to this land — it taught me to honor who is.
It taught me:
*that my lineage carries both pain and power
*that healing requires truth, not avoidance
*that soul work happens when we slow down long enough to listen
This candle is part of that listening.
A flame for memory.
A flame for accountability.
A flame for the possibility of doing better than those who came before me.
Poem — Light Enough to Remember
I hold this flame not to chase away shadows,
but to sit with them in their honesty.
I carry this light for the ones whose stories were smothered,
for the land that was taken through force, deceit, and erasure.
I bring this candle to my table,
not in thanks for forgetting,
but in gratitude for remembering.
Let the warmth be soft,
Let the silence be deep,
Let the hearth be wide enough
to hold grief and hope together.
May the glow remind me —
we belong only when we remember belonging.
Resources for deeper remembrance
Learn from Indigenous voices — listen first, act with humility, and support where called:
Nipmuc Nation — Tribal Government & Cultural Preservation
https://www.nipmucnation.org/
(history, community work, cultural revitalization, education)Native Land Digital — Interactive map of Indigenous homelands
https://native-land.ca/
(enter your town to learn whose land you’re on)Local Indigenous events and educational opportunities
Check the Nipmuc Nation and Mashantucket Pequot Museum and Research websites for announcements of seasonal programming and cultural initiatives. https://www.pequotmuseum.org
If you feel called…
Light a candle of your own —
not in place of celebration, but in service of truth.
Let gratitude be honest.
Let history be acknowledged.
Let remembrance be an act of love.
May our generation choose integrity over comfort,
truth over myth,
and belonging that includes everyone.
The dark isn’t the absence of light — it’s the place where remembering begins.